I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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