Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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