I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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