We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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