She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
