Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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