I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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