Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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