Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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