so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
