This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
