She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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