I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
