take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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