It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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