i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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