It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
