Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
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IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
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I feel like you just railed me after that sext
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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