so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
