well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize