How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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