I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
