does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I don't think brook has ever known best
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
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Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
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In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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