Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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