When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you inspire me to be a worse person
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize