You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
