Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
