dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
