Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
