I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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