I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
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