everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
