Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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