he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
