what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Randomize
