seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Is Oprah even human
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
