Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
