fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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