Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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