So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
