Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
We got so high we made milksteak
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
