Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
