May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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