I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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