Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
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