SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
