I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
