chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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