I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
