Texts From Last Night

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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.

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  (804): I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay. http://tfl.nu/7iul
  Replies (17) Good night (8102) Bad night (785)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?

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  (312): sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions? http://tfl.nu/20lq
  Replies (21) Good night (602) Bad night (3620)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  ...there is blood under my fingernails.

  (515): View more from Iowa

  ...I hope my roomates are okay.

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  (515): ...there is blood under my fingernails. (515): ...I hope my roomates are okay. http://tfl.nu/jgvb
  Replies (7) Good night (965) Bad night (3325)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.

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  (913): He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'. http://tfl.nu/awoj
  Replies (33) Good night (888) Bad night (3237)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.

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  (201): i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed. http://tfl.nu/ojs9
  Replies (29) Good night (1215) Bad night (6739)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.

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  (503): today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola. http://tfl.nu/yi5l
  Replies (18) Good night (2354) Bad night (4963)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty

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  (918): When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty http://tfl.nu/ybq4
  Replies (19) Good night (1182) Bad night (6731)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.

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  (207): Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father. http://tfl.nu/7nfw
  Replies (49) Good night (1513) Bad night (13767)
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  (818): View more from California

  The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.

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  (818): The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs. http://tfl.nu/zk5x
  Replies (9) Good night (1971) Bad night (3565)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.

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  (404): You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high. http://tfl.nu/huz5
  Replies (6) Good night (1306) Bad night (932)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.

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  (512): So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands. http://tfl.nu/oa75
  Replies (6) Good night (1364) Bad night (656)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch

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  (509): How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch http://tfl.nu/j3z1
  Replies (7) Good night (772) Bad night (427)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.

  (320): View more from Minnesota

  It's ok, February is a short month

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  (507): No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month. (320): It's ok, February is a short month http://tfl.nu/u435
  Replies (5) Good night (998) Bad night (419)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.

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  (775): Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program. http://tfl.nu/5e2w
  Replies (1) Good night (626) Bad night (288)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"

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  (215): Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?" http://tfl.nu/i6qx
  Replies (2) Good night (688) Bad night (230)

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