Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.

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  (248): i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles. http://tfl.nu/v155
  Replies (2) Good night (631) Bad night (1085)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.

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  (734): Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half. http://tfl.nu/b8ev
  Replies (29) Good night (4435) Bad night (1247)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.

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  (617): just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil. http://tfl.nu/drc4
  Replies (13) Good night (7577) Bad night (1464)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".

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  (864): long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube". http://tfl.nu/njsb
  Replies (8) Good night (3281) Bad night (1026)
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  (323): View more from California

  dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning

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  (323): dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning http://tfl.nu/bjxg
  Replies (6) Good night (3045) Bad night (1018)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.

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  (850): I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain. http://tfl.nu/8aml
  Replies (12) Good night (5753) Bad night (1206)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups

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  (412): All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups http://tfl.nu/m0gn
  Replies (2) Good night (2763) Bad night (943)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  The strip club called, they have your shoe.

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  (910): The strip club called, they have your shoe. http://tfl.nu/kbp6
  Replies (13) Good night (3816) Bad night (862)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.

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  (732): Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know. http://tfl.nu/fesa
  Replies (5) Good night (2451) Bad night (835)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.

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  (780): Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something. http://tfl.nu/bxdz
  Replies (7) Good night (1251) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.

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  (617): Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place. http://tfl.nu/haup
  Replies (14) Good night (862) Bad night (2292)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Valid question

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  (440): At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex." (216): Valid question http://tfl.nu/clyn
  Replies (6) Good night (1594) Bad night (510)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.

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  (717): You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep. http://tfl.nu/lypi
  Replies (11) Good night (2221) Bad night (542)
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  (626): View more from California

  Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?

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  (626): Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child? http://tfl.nu/0p9q
  Replies (3) Good night (826) Bad night (301)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.

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  (412): Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there. http://tfl.nu/wmu1
  Replies (1) Good night (430) Bad night (150)

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