Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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