Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.

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(706): Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour. http://tfl.nu/wtdj

Replies (9) Good night (4745) Bad night (661)
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(574): View more from Indiana

how does Santa get into Hogwarts?

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(574): how does Santa get into Hogwarts? http://tfl.nu/z515

Replies (48) Good night (6082) Bad night (1080)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.

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(+44): So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors. http://tfl.nu/2asp

Replies (32) Good night (3454) Bad night (1187)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.

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(832): The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left. http://tfl.nu/7tek

Replies (22) Good night (1979) Bad night (10720)
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(845): View more from New York

I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!

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(845): I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!! http://tfl.nu/6xbj

Replies (42) Good night (2620) Bad night (7138)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.

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(405): I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible. http://tfl.nu/59e7

Replies (19) Good night (935) Bad night (3787)
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(206): View more from Washington

I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.

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(206): I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve. http://tfl.nu/axt4

Replies (1) Good night (2260) Bad night (823)
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(325): View more from Texas

3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!

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(325): 3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches! http://tfl.nu/avjf

Replies (7) Good night (2413) Bad night (980)
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(339): View more from Massachusetts

Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.

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(339): Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys. http://tfl.nu/p4yk

Replies (20) Good night (6310) Bad night (1016)
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(817): View more from Texas

How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?

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(817): How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf? http://tfl.nu/6kzv

Replies (6) Good night (1438) Bad night (640)
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(972): View more from Texas

I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.

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(972): I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards. http://tfl.nu/fq92

Replies (8) Good night (1770) Bad night (654)
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(817): View more from Texas

Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex

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(817): Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex http://tfl.nu/6b6a

Replies (3) Good night (1098) Bad night (439)
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(843): View more from South Carolina

This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?

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(843): This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded? http://tfl.nu/dc2w

Replies (3) Good night (804) Bad night (367)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.

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(832): I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head. http://tfl.nu/ufex

Replies (1) Good night (546) Bad night (377)
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(520): View more from Arizona

If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death

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(520): If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death http://tfl.nu/mtrm

Replies (3) Good night (762) Bad night (347)

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