Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
