Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
