My brain says no but my pants say off.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default