You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
