Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Randomize
