Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
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Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
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What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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