even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
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Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
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Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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