There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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