I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
