you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
