Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
