I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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