how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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