Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I love how my cats smell like pot.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
