3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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