Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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