i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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