I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I currently don't understand fingers.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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